In these empty arms

Excited because the article I wrote “In these empty arms”

Was published in the Mariam Poppins magazine for this month AND it will be posted on their site later on as well.

For those of you who aren’t Muslim on my list @Mariam Poppins is a magazine for Muslim women (others can read it as well) that tries to address a multitude of women’s concerns, issues, life, solutions, and interests.

In the article the issue of coping, grieving, parenting, and gratitude are discussed between Muslim women in a restaurant, and not for the first time this happened either.

The article addresses grieving, sisterhood, Islamic reminders, and principles

And a raw, eye-opening look into the life of grieving mothers…..

JJC Only Community College in State to Receive Grant for Prevention of Violence Against Women

JJC Only Community College in State to Receive Grant for Prevention of Violence Against Women.

I’m proud. ’tis all, carry on

sorrow, joy, past experiences, happiness, coping, grieving-HUMAN Life

We spend so much time trying to be happy. Humans. We do, we really do. Yes, we ALL have those funks that we stay in for a while; but in reality cynicism is exhausting. Being bitter, harsh, sad, angry, and cynical will eat you alive more than the actual debilitating pain that causes you to feel and be this way.

At some point we will either cope through goodness, great people, friendships, maturity, or religion. Sometimes all of them. Sometimes one of them. Whatever works for you. Then, once there, we will strive SO HARD to be that “Better me.” Some of it will burn us out. Some of it will push us forward ”todo pa’lante” and thrive. Some of us will become obsessed with this help, whatever it is pushing us forward, uplifting us; helping us in our sorrow. Many of us will fall somewhere in the middle with rises and dips in there.

I’m stuck currently in HUMAN. Human who happens to be woman, mom, Muslim, my past and all I’ve been through. Some days I’m a striving-to-improve Muslimah above everything else. Some days I barely get by, and a Hug from my child is all I can bare. Some days, some days even that is harder than I can take, harder than I can bare. Some days your legs over the side of the bed is the BIGGEST accomplishment you can envision yourself to take.

I’ve been very pensive lately. Life sure is a roller coaster ride. I reflect on the amazing qualities of the brain, at it’s amazing features all it can learn, take, how amazingly resilient and how terribly fragile it is. I think of depression, schizophrenia, Autism, Retts syndrome, Cancer, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and all the people whose minds and souls have been ravaged by life and who pretend to be ‘normal’ and get by.

Life is all over the place, like my thoughts.

I think of all the imperfect mistakes that shaped us. The experiences we never should have had which taught us. The dumb a** mistakes we make that can forever change our youth, you, our marriages, or our lives. We all have them. Some of us, wiser than others; have fewer mistakes or life learning errors. Some of us have many life experiences and learn the hard way.

Some of us have lost a pet, or a friend, some of us lost a family member– some of us have lost all of them, and a child or a parent. Some of us have lost all that and more, in a Hard way. Some of us have seen murder, cancer, war, psychosis, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, we’ve experienced a child fall asleep in our arms only to never wake up, a child dying in a fire, a sister murdered, a brother who couldn’t take it and ended it….some of us, some of us would have went through the feelings of that last one and somehow made it through. AlHamdulilah, AlHamdulilah through it all.

Reflecting on some things of my own, some things I’ve lived through, witnessed of my friends or of my family.

How hard can it be to be looked up to and admit you want to give up or mess up, or try something bad? I’m wondering how would someone admit that to another? How do you seek help before falling into that? Whatever that may be…

How does a family survive loosing their Captain? How does a mother cope with empty arms? How does a sister get through not being able to pick up the phone and call her sibling? How does a sinner return to their faith, their rope? How does a mother, hugging her child who is having a seizure stay in the moment with the heavy weight on her shoulders of just finding out she herself has a rare form of cancer out of nowhere and is already in a stage 2? How does a wife regain her husband’s love? How does a drug addict get over the urge to just slip one more time? How do we cope in this amazing, awful, happy, depressing, horrible, fun, disgusting, sick, hopeful world?

These are all rhetorical questions. I don’t really want answers. I’m just using my blog as a diary of sorts so to speak. I know how I cope, most days anyhow. AlHamdulilah for Islam, the internet and some confidants, companions, my musings and the internet. That’s mine, my safety net, my “happy pill” so to speak. Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just another thing that I “fail at”. Sometimes. Sometimes I’m just a shell. and sometimes that’s okay.

Shout out to all my shells. To my struggling to get by people. Shout out to the grieving, to the recovering, shout out to the muslims striving, Shout out to the hurt, the attacked, the defeated and then to those who have slacked and slipped up and relapsed. The ONLY way to go from the bottom is up. Rejoice, rejoice that you can be an example of starting over. No matter what it is. How hard it may be, how utterly life shattering it is or was you CAN be you. Be you in this awesome life. Be you. Relish those things that made you who you are and keep on keepin on.

Weather and gratitude AlHamdulilah (just a “Personal” reflection)

As I sit here listening to some recordings…. I have many thoughts going through my head. The rain came hard and fast earlier and left flash floods and a 20 degree temperature drop Alhamdulillah. Now the night is still and quiet with silent lightening flashing every now and again and big fat clouds moving about overhead. Creation is so wonderful SubhanAllah.

I don’t know why it is I feel so at peace in weather that most people find annoying, disturbing, “not nice, or “blah.” I find it comforting. One could speculate that it has to do with gratitude, gratitude for the chance of making dua (prayers) gratitude for rain when so many suffer from drought right now. One could speculate many things.The truth is I’ve always loved this weather even before acknowledgement of gratitude or even before Islam. I still don’t know why I feel “at peace” in this weather. “They” used to say that some people aren’t content unless they’re in some sort of turmoil. This isn’t really me, I can be confrontational but I don’t enjoy living in disarray or confrontation. Therefore that can’t be it. Maybe it’s because ever since I was conceived possibly, I’ve known “storms?” Maybe it’s because it’s so easy to sleep and relax in this weather? Maybe it’s because I’ve loved the ultimate love and the ultimate loss??? The fast hard rains at times remind me of that fast hard cries…..*shakes off those thoughts * AlHamdulillah I’ve lost much, OH SO very much but I’ve also gained so much in this life.

I’ve gained peace through knowledge that there is better (in the full meaning, all the way around). I’ve gained Islam by Allah’s permission. I’ve gained a way to live, change, learn, grow, hope, pray, live and be. Even though I’m still relatively new (3 and a half years almost) to this I’ve learned So Much and I’m amazed at how little I actually know. I truly enjoy knowing God would NEVER punish a child for dying because of “original sin.” I take refuge in Allah’s words and His promises when the grief and sorrow starts to sting stronger. I look at the world around me and all I know, have been through and seen or know of and I know the Islamic legislation’s are sent down indeed for a reason.

I’ve been blessed with so many venues to learn from family, society, Sisterhood, websites, life, the net, my children, death, sorrow, love, loss, marriage, divorce, zakat, friendship, nikkah (Islamic marriage) and being married to a Practicing muslim man AlHamdulillah and in being a homeschooling Muslimah Latina American Mom. I never thought I’d see the day where I’d be grateful for some of those aforementioned words (experiences)
Those words could NEVER convey all the emotion, turmoils, joy, sorrow, pain, growing simply written or spoken (especially in English) The fact of the matter is unless we live through them and Allah blesses us with some understanding they could never be conveyed to anyone who hasn’t seen being a parent and loosing their child. Islam and belief could never FULLY  (at least to me, it could be different for others) appreciate, love and embrace Islaam. Even as I sit here and type I’m half smiling with a knot in my throat. may Allah protect and guide us all, may He the All Merciful fill our hearts with joy, HAMD, love, shukr, and peace. May He forgive us and guide us and may He heal our broken hearts and guide our loved ones ameen!!!

Helpful surahs and verses to aid you in teaching ( or learning it) history of creation

 

Asalaamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatahu I just wanted to share some of the helpful suras and ayas in the Qur’an that speak of Allah’s creation( or of His making of the Earth and all in it). These can be used alongside Islamic studies as well as “creation/History” studies. We must remember though that the descriptions of creation in the Qu’ran are not intended as cut and dry historical accounts, but rather to engage the reader in contemplating the lessons to be learned from it. For “History” I recommend the books from THIS POST alongside with any history curriculum you are patient enough to tweak and use.

I hope these are helpful to you. Please make dua for my family that Allah continues to bestow His mercy and guidance or may He guide us, JazakAllah Khayer

Allah is Al Khaliq (The Creator)

Surah 41:11, Surah 2:21,22 and 29, Surah 7:54, Surah 10:5, Surah 14: ayas 10-17, Surah 22:verse 18

Surah 25:61, 62, Surah 36:39,40, Surah 71: ayas 15-19, Surah 91:2 and 3, Surah 7:54

Surah 21:30, Surah 21:33, Surah 51:47, Surah 15:16 Surah 22:47, Surah 71:14-19 Surah 21:31

Surah 21:30, Surah 24:45, Surah 2:30, Surah  Ghafir, verse 57, Surah 39:62 Surah 51:56

Surah 18:7

(Please share some surahs or ayas I may have missed with us here as well InshaAllah)

History lessons, FUN and Interesting amazing facts and Creationism

Asalaamu alaikum (peace be upon you), hola hermanas y amistades (hey sisters & friends)

I just want to say to anyone who loves to read, to anyone who wonders why, how, or what did Muslims contribute to the world or what we believe or should we know.

History lovers, parents, students, Muslims, homeschoolers and people who go to school I completely recommend,

HANDS DOWN the following books : “Deeper Roots Muslims in The Americas and the Caribbean from BEFORE Columbus to the Present” –

Amazing book, writen by Br Dr Abdullah Hakim Quick. Learn the Truth of “3rd world” and learn the amazing facts. Learn the reality of the Size and immense donations to civilization from Africa to the world from the “Muslims” to the world.

I also recommend the book series “Stories of the World” by Sister M.A. Safia Iqbal. Geared more towards people who don’t have a passion for history yet, don’t know they love it, students, children, and/or children. It teaches REAL world History along with creationism.

Preschool aged children “curriculum”

Asalaamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatahu I get asked fairly often for “curriculum” for younger children. I’ve compiled a list of my own commentary as well as guidelines from the experts from books and the internet of what is developmentall appropriate for a child in this age group.

Remember these are guidelines for at the END of pre school age so don’t fret if she or he hasn’t met each developmental milestone just yet.

 

Preschool Curriculum Guide

Size

* Understands big and little. * Understands long and short. * Matches shapes or objects based on size.

 

** Real life tip from me

 

** You can use stuff around the house, grocery store, kitchen, park and even the car for this!

Colors and Shapes

* Recognizes and names primary colors. * Recognizes circles. * Recognizes rectangles. * Matches shapes or objects based on shape. * Copies shapes.

 

**While in daily conversation make sure to include this in your day to day activities…i.e. “CHILD’s Name please bring mommy the yellow ball. Can you please hand mommy the black pot? Etc. etc

 

Numbers

* Counts orally through 10. * Counts objects in one-to-one correspondence. * Understands empty and full. * Understands more and less.

 

** Again daily examples…here are 3 eggs, mommy is going to boil 3 eggs to add with our yellow pasta.

 

Reading Readiness

* Remembers objects from a given picture. * Knows what a letter is. * Has been read to frequently. * Has been read to daily. * Looks at books and magazines. * Recognizes some nursery rhymes. * Identifies parts of the body. * Identifies objects that have a functional use. * Knows common farm and zoo animals. * Pronounces own first name. * Pronounces own last name. * Expresses self verbally. * Identifies other children by name * Tells the meaning of simple words. * Repeats a sentence of 6-8 words. * Completes incomplete sentence with proper word. * Has own books. * Understands that print carries a message. * Pretends to read. * Uses left-to-right progression. * Answers questions about a short story. * Tells the meaning of words heard in story. * Looks at pictures and tells a story. * Identifies own first name in manuscript. * Prints own first name.

 

**I wrote Evelyn’s name on EVERYTHING. I labeled EVERYTHING. For example on her drawings I would ask her “what is this?” Then I would write down her reply so she could start to assimilate written and spoken language and that letters form words and that words are written/read from top to bottom left to right (all this just by observing, not even drilling it in them)

Another thing is we labeled the dresser with the word dresser, the toy shelf with the words toy shelf and so on and so forth

 

Also follow the lesson plans over at www.letteroftheweek.com

to the best of your ability time wise. Another web site we loved was

www.starfall.com

Both of these are free.

 

Position and Direction

* Understands up and down. * Understands in and out. * Understands front and back. * Understands over (on) and under. 5

 

* Understands top, bottom, middle. * Understands beside and next to. * Understands hot and cold. * Understands fast and slow.

**Again this is simple and does NOT require much time, planning, spending or “teaching” on your behalf. Simply in conversation include this in your day to day life i.e “The water is running/flowing slowly let’s make it flow faster”…. “The water is hot, feel that, it’s a bit hot, now it’s cold feel that, cold.” “We are going to make salat and pray now please bring mommy the prayer rug so we can put it ON the floor” “Let’s put the shoes UNDER the bed(or OUTSIDE the door)”, “let’s save the notebook over on top of the shelf” etc, etc

 

Time

* Understands day and night. * Knows age and birthday.

** These requires simple drilling, repeating this information to her a few times a day for example tell her her full name, date of birth and address three times in a row in the morning and then repeat again 3 times in the afternoon. If you do this at least 5 days a week for 2 weeks straight she WILL memorize and retain it.

 

Listening and Sequencing

* Follows simple directions. * Listens to a short story. * Listens carefully. * Recognizes common sounds. * Repeats a sequence of sounds. * Repeats a sequence of orally given numbers. * Retells simple stories in sequence.

 

**This starts out slow, while reading to him or her repeat one sentence or a very small paragraph at least 2 times and ask the child to tell you what they remember. This not only helps her attention span and focus but trains her mind to be sharper over time.

 

Motor Skills

* Is able to run. * Is able to walk a straight line. * Is able to jump. * Is able to hop. * Is able to alternate feet walking down stairs. * Is able to march. * Is able to stand on one foot for 5-10 seconds. * Is able to walk backwards for five feet. * Is able to throw a ball. * Pastes objects. * Claps hands. * Matches simple objects. * Touches fingers. * Able to button a garment. * Builds with blocks. * Completes simple puzzles (5 pieces or less). * Draws and colors beyond * a simple scribble. * Able to zip a zipper. * Controls pencil and crayon well. * Cuts simple shapes. * Handles scissors well. * Able to copy simple shapes.

 

**Have the child play with play dough, clay “Paint”, scribble, tear paper, drawn, trace, connect the dots and simply walk, climb and play. Over time (a few months) these skills will automatically improve which prepares her for cutting, writing, penmanship, and even reading later on!

 

Social-Emotional Development

* Can be away from parents or primary care givers for 2-3 hours without being upset. * Takes care of toilet needs independently. * Feels good about self. * Is not afraid to go to school. * Cares for own belongings. * Knows full name. * Dresses self. * Knows how to use handkerchief or tissue. * Knows own sex. * Brushes teeth. 6

 

* Crosses residential street safely. * Asks to go to school. * Knows parents’ names. * Knows home address. * Knows home phone number. * Enters into casual conversation. * Carries a plate of food. * Maintains self-control. * Gets along well with other children. * Plays with other children. * Recognizes authority. * Shares with others. * Talks easily. * Likes teachers. * Meets visitors without shyness. * Puts away toys. * Able to stay on task. * Able to work independently. * Helps family with chores

 

 

I hope this list and my commentary is helpful! Please let me know if you are stuck, worried, have questions or complete all of these and want more steps! Salaam!! ~  Holly

Quick Money and Sanity saving tips for the home educator

BismiAllah

Asalaamu alaikum waramatulahi wabarakatahu ladies I have a Money saver tip for you.

Are you looking for study curricula? I’ve already shared one of my free secret weapons, The library but another WONDERFUL free/and very cheap tip is the Internet.

Check out the numerous unit studies sites online, where you can find free, printable units on a variety of subjects, from Space exploration to family travel. To view a general list of links, begin by searching “Unit studies” and “homeschooling.”

If you are contemplating homeschooling but don’t work, only work part-time or even work full-time but you are the sole financial provider, do NOT get dismayed you CAN still homeschool!!

Many of the items, resources, links and tips I post are generally completely FREE of charge or Cheap! Before I re-married I was a single outside the home part-time working, barely an income to survive having home educator.

It CAN be done it just requires self-restraint and NOT purchasing everything out there, it requires planning, practice, and asking other parents, using the library and taking advantage of the Library.

These same tips can be used for parents of multiple children or big households who need money-saving tips.

Use the Library and Internet for hundreds of freebies!

Try reading the book “Miserly Moms: living on One Income in a Two-Income economy, 3rd Edition
Author Jonni McGoy

Another thing you need to get hip to is garage sales, thrift stores, the library old/discontinued books shelves; and school end of year/beginning of year clean ups.

I have my WHOLE 3rd grade “curriculum” (Composed of different text and workbooks and publishers) for next year InshaAllah that I’ve accumulated over the last yr and a half at various garage sales, other moms who don’t need them no more, thrift stores and sales that I found them at one by one I accumulated the books that I just saved up.

Some Public and even islamic schools throw out or sell for coins their old, discontinued, tattered or written in books. All they need is to unfold the pages, clean them off, erase or white out markings. This simple tip can save you literally hundreds of dollars and you do a good deed as a Muslim and human being by not being wasteful, re-use and recycle and save BIG $$$

InshaAllah we are all having a great day and week so far and if we’re not STOP Everything now, take a break and start over!

For a homeschool mom it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to be perfect and do it all neglecting yourself. Trying to be a mom, a home educator, a wife….trying to be everything to everyone. Balancing a clean happy home and well-educated children is challenging. Trying to do the lesson plan, Islamic learning, or curriculum along with cleaning and Teaching is a lot!

It can be a challenge to find the time to sit quietly and read a book or get our hair done in the midst of grading a spelling test, folding laundry, making dinner, and setting up a science lab. until finally it burns us out and we fall behind on everything and we feel overwhelmed and don’t even know when to begin.
If this describes you then I want to challenge you with this:

What good are you when you are grumpy, burned out, tired and trying to teach?

Are you actually teaching, or are you robotically repeating the material, neither parenting, nor teaching nor being fun?

What example are you setting for your children when you neglect yourself?

How can learning be enjoyable when the nerves are frayed?

Who will take care of your family if you run yourself ragged and cannot function?

Are you praising Allah and asking of Him to help you? Or are you too burned out to focus on prayer?

If you’ve answered that yes, you are; indeed having issues in this area it’s time to take a mental health break. You CAN do it, it’s the beauty of homeschooling!

Take 1- 3 days off and re-evaluate WHY you are doing this.

Ask yourself the questions here and start with one thing at a time and work your way up. We are home educating, NOT reenacting a school classroom. Start small and see how and what is working and slowly add to it little by little until your day flows into each other.

I was nominated for a blog award =)

Oh my goodness!!! =)

I was nominated for a blog award from Ameera R,  from Habeebee Homeschooling! This was created to recognize other bloggers and she and her blogs are awesome enough to have been awarded herself MashaAllah!

This was unexpected as I didn’t even know about it until I clicked on the original person’s post who nominated her; and than read her blog post about it. I really don’t even know where to begin! There are SO many bloggers whom I love Muslim, non Muslim, religious, non Religious who are simply so much more amazing bloggers and much more resourceful than I am! I read everything from homeschooling to cooking, Politics, religion, life, parenting to do it yourself posts! I really would feel bad to accidentally hurt someone’s feelings by not posting them. Here is what I’ll do InshaAllah, I will post the ones off of the top of my head that are mostly related to homeschooling and being Muslim since, well, that’s my angle

Okay, here we go-BismiAllah!!! I have to list the rules as I saw them…..

How the award process works: 
1. Thank the person who nominated you- Thank you- JazakAllahu Khayer Ameera- you are amazing and VERY Creative!!
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Pass the award on to 10 other bloggers
4. Contact the other bloggers to let them know they have been nominated

Ok, so here are 7 things about me: 
1. I grew up all over!! Literally! I was born in Joliet, Illinois but have lived in Texas (5 different places) and Mexico before coming back to Illinois.
2. I am of Mexican, Native American heritage and my culture is a mixture of Mexican and American-with a muslim lifestyle InshaAllah. A lot of my close friends are Puerto rican, Dominican, from Africa, here (USA) and Mexico so it’s anybodies guess what kind of “accent” when and if I have when one from time to time!
3. I worked in a head start as an early childhood educator for 6 + years before  what I thought was quitting the field and leaving education now I homeschool!!
4. I love reading, homeschooling and being online. Literally, I could get lost in it for hours!
5. I try to be down to earth and try not to let my ignorance, growth, learning, or lack-there-of to make me boastful and mean. I am, but a human though, so My apologies if I’ve ever come across rude, full of mistakes or judgmental. I truly apologize I never intend to be that way.
6. I love Mexican food and cook it okay too if I say so myself
7. I don’t have enough hours in the week to do all the activities I’d like to do.

Here are the bloggers I am nominating:

• American Muslim Mom
• Talibiddeen Jr
•Diary of a Muslim Homeschool
• Ummi’s Circle
• Homeschool 4 Muslims
• Habeebee Homeschooling
• Muslim Homeschool Blog
• Islamic unit Studies
•Yemen links, a Wonderful and very resourceful site
• A muslim child is born

I wish I could list 50!! I have so many blogs I read that are so great, and full of wonderful tips, Ummi’s, homeschooling ideas, children, Muslims and great websites. I might just post blogs like this one from time to time to lis them all!!

I love the internet!!!

Please feel free to share your early childhood blog or a blog that you know of here … so we can continue to expand our network!

a great Research and learning tool

The University of Delaware Library offers a comprehensive online research guide to article databases, websites, research strategies, and more. 

ENJOY!