Priorities and “Falling apart” when we NEED to keep it together Part 2

Asalaamu Alaikum waramatluahi wabrakatahu (May the peace, the mercy, and the blessings of Allah (God) be upon you).

Yes I know, I’ve been “away” for a while. I was supposed to be writing how to stay productive and I couldn’t write about something I wasn’t doing.

After the deep freeze of which we are Still in by the way. The move, brrr I DON’T Ever want to move in Winter again! Add unpacking, homeschool and part time work I just couldn’t post. That and I’ve always been bad about being consistent with blogging so that’s me. Besides, I figure real life, home, people and homeschooling is more of a priority than the net.

Anyhow things have FINALLY settled, my place looks more like a home (yay!) and I finally petitioned facebook to start looking into why my homeschooling Muslimah Mommies page isn’t showing up.

get up

I figured now that I have more time I could finish this blog series on prioritizing, de-cluttering and adding structure our lives and time in sha Allah (God Willing). For part One Click here

On to ways to keep or get the ball rolling on being a better, happier you, here are other things I learned, had to do, try and fail before trying again.

* Confidence

* Relaxation

* Perfectionism

First things first Don’t forget to be Nice to YOU!

The Merciful One shows mercy to those who are themselves merciful (to others). So show mercy to whatever is on earth, then He who is in heaven will show mercy to you.” (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

* Perfectionism

So you’ve been reading these and now instead of falling apart you’re obsessed with cleaning, learning, cooking, etc etc….(I’m not, but you may be ;p I don’t have that in my DNA)

We’re sure everything we’re doing can be better or might even all be wrong! How, how on earth can we get out of this mentality? We are responsible for our homes, children and all and what a blessing it is ma shaa Allah!

Ibn Umar ra said that Rasulullah saw said: “Each of you is a guardian, and each of you will be asked about your guardianship. The leader is a guardian, and the man is a guardian over the people of his house, and the woman is a guardian over her husband’s house and children. So each of you is a guardian, and each of you will be asked about your guardianship.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

But how do we avoid falling into the magazine-like home keeper in which no one can make a mess? Or how do we keep our-self from assuming we have to be that way?

Remember to tell yourself “I am a good woman/person/daughter/wife/mother, I will NEVER be a perfect one”

“I asked Allah’s Messenger ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) which deed was best.” He (the Holy Prophet) replied: “The prayer at its appointed hour”. [Sahih Muslim]

Now I’m not calling us to continue our lazy ways nor to be content without goals but it’s okay to know we’ll never be perfect. We fret so much at times thinking everything we’re doing is wrong. We’re so insecure that everything we do as a woman is bad or reflecting on other women, muslims, daughters or our kids. We’re totally neurotic at times about this so called perfection we seek. We are Human beings, we are NOT perfect!

“In the sight of Allah, only piety puts a person above another”

The Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) used to seek refuge in Allah subḥānahu wa ta’āla (glorified and exalted be He) from laziness that he used to mention it daily in this dua: “O Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men.” [Sahih Bukhari]

*Confidence- Be confident in yourself ladies! No, not arrogant not “look good” I mean confidence in your capabilities and that your Lord made the best you that you can be. Now arrogance is NOT from Islam and the believers are called to be slaves of their Lord and Humble.
Comprehending ones’ intelligence, looks, abilities, potentials, and building on the existing capabilities in the attempt to satisfy one’s desires and attain to the true human identity. This is in no way in conflict with the order to trust in Allah and be humble. After all as the quote goes, “You are on a rock floating in space!” SubhanAllah …..it’s so deep, when you zoom out looking at images of the Universe you see even the Earth becomes smaller and smaller in our amazing Creators fashioned decree until it’s a speck, we are a speck on a speck….but I digress….subhanAllah It’s awe-inspiring to me.

Anyhow, There are several things that contribute to the positive conception of self-confidence. The first is to LOVE YOURSELF and be kind to you. Also comprehending oneself, one’s capabilities, strengths and weaknesses, duties, and material and spiritual assets. What is the most effective plan for using these assets? These are all points and questions that stem from the two key religious concepts: self-knowledge and recognizing one’s God-given blessings and appropriately exploiting them. Remember to implement the tips, ideas and advice from post one and this one to help you boost your confidence. After numerous and painful tries you’ll learn to clean as you cook, do laundry before it piles up, read those 2 Arabic letters and you’ll start feeling a smile creep up on your face, that, that right there is what you use as your fuel to keep going and build your confidence in knowing you are in control of certain areas of your life and can change some things :)

* Relaxation- Say it with me, no, for real say it aloud and mean it. “When I take time to rest, I am not wasting time. I am Enjoying it.” Now repeat. Yes I know, There is only so much time in a day and caring for our duties, be they work, the home, school, religious, family or children takes up most of it. Too often we use our free time to do household chores, homework, work (even worse!) This is NOT rest! In the quest for our self-improvement we must not get too hung up on perfection or trying so hard to be better that it makes us grumpier. It’s unrealistic to expect to be at our very best every single day. Remember not to blame yourself when you have days that are less than your best. There are days at work/home/parenting/homeschooling that flow as naturally as laughter and you feel a comfort, love, ease and comfort in knowing that you know and enjoy what you’re doing. these days nothing interferes with that feeling Even these days we deserve a little break but much more so on the days we question our roles. Days Where we wonder why bother and feel so hormonal or overwhelmed, we REALLY deserve a break on those days the most!

By allowing yourself relaxation time , some quiet time to make enjoy nothing, make dua, pick up your favorite hobby or just re-group you’re improving the quality of time you give to other people.

Aisha reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it disgraces it.”

Source: Sahih Muslim 2594

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Imam Muslim

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One thought on “Priorities and “Falling apart” when we NEED to keep it together Part 2

  1. Pingback: Priorities and “Falling apart” when we NEED to keep it together Part 3 | ♥Life in my world♥

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