Different

We spend so much energy focusing on careers, race, nationalism, religion, weight, or otherwise trying to click up n be a certain way to the max- on how we’re bigger, better, tougher than others, on how our job or lack there of choice is better than theirs because it’s the best for us. So much on being the biggest, baddest whatever we want to label ourselves… Cut us open- we’re all created the same inside.

It’s about time we focus on humanity, on being loving, on loving for others what we want for ourselves and not just as some cliche religious phrase to repeat when it applies to us, but, to truly strive. We’re either sisters and brothers in Religion or in humanity.

Why are we so hateful? mean, spiteful, angry, malicious, and harmful? I thank Allah (God) I have amazing people in my life. I truly wish ALL of you did too but here is the thing…. Amazing people won’t come knocking your door down. Get out there- be amazing.

Hold the door open for someone a little longer, buy that candy, those cookies, give that charity. Smile even through that bad mood, pick up that litter you didn’t drop. Answer kindly vs sarcastically. Help someone “get something” or understand it instead of judging them for not doing something. Drink more water, rest better-take walks, eat healthier, show some compassion or at the very least-if you truly can’t…than do NO harm.

How can I homeschool affordably?

I get the same question all the time. How can I homeschool affordably? or some variation of that. I was in the same EXACT place myself. Homeschooling can cost as little or as much as you allow it.

Very first thing to do is make dua, pray, BEG Allah to grant you ease, pleasure and aid you. Once you’ve prayed about it. Set up your plan.

Ask yourself WHY to homeschool. How you plan on enjoying this and what your goals are.

Next, you will need to look up your homeschool laws by State.

You can do so by going here ~> http://www.hslda.org/hs/default.asp

http://www.freewebs.com/homeschoolingmuslimahmommies/typicalcourseofstudy.htm

FREE and very affordable things to do can be found here ~> http://mommyhogaryamor.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/quick-money-and-sanity-saving-tips-for-the-home-educator/

I have many other articles, blog, and information on the subject of getting started and why I do you can also read on here and across the web. I’ve said to take advantage of the library over and over again because honestly you can find school textbooks, living books, encyclopedias, dictionaries and much more all there for your use. Here are a few “book” and documents leads for you. PLENTY of information at our fingertips. ENJOY

http://distancelearn.about.com/od/managingyourwork/a/cheaptextbook.htm

http://www.freewebs.com/homeschoolingmuslimahmommies/howdoistart.htm

I get asked to recommend curriculum. I do NOT do this for various reasons. The biggest of these is I do NOT endorse nor do I recommend anything or single program because we are all different and each of our children are different as well as our families, values, practices, styles and beliefs. It is up to us, the parent, to review and evaluate everything before allowing our child to use it to ensure it fits with our beliefs and goals. Also I don’t use a curriculum. We are ECLECTIC homeschoolers and use various methods and make up our own curriculum off of different books, web sites, approaches, styles, and materials.

Here is more on the Styles of homeschooling for you to try them and see which method you prefer to use.

http://www.freewebs.com/homeschoolingmuslimahmommies/differentstyles.htm

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/methods/Methods.htm

Here is a link with links to many different lesson plans

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/weblinks/lessons.htm

http://mommyhogaryamor.wordpress.com/2012/04/18/preschool-aged-children-curriculum/

and last but not least an older blog post with free resources you can use

http://mommyhogaryamor.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/free-curriculum-and-resources-you-can-use/

Motivation, change, life

” when work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible”~ Nancy Coey

“When you hold back on life, life holds back on you”~Mary Manin Morrissey 

Let’s get it in ladies!!!

Whether it be Arabic Alphabet learning, house-keeping, Islamic basics, loosing weight, Sura memorizing, Tajweed (PROPER pronunciation) kindness, leaving off showing off, backbiting, doing too much of everything and in the end neglecting the important, or Arabic Quranic reading. The same rules apply if we don’t want it bad enough, if we don’t love it or if we don’t keep trying we’ll get nowhere fast!

1.- Make dua for it, if we pray ask Allah for it as much as we talk about, complain about, or daydream about it we’d be a lot closer!

2.-Trust in Allah but tie our camel-this means after duas we WORK hard at it, be it working out, trying to be organized, cleaning more often, or becoming better. Hard work produces results.

3.-Know where you’re starting from. Where are you at realistically? Start there. I can’t read Quran without proper Arabic letter joining and sounds

4.- Smile and try again even if you feel no gain, no better, or stuck. Admit it we ALL have our days!! Or, maybe it’s just me 

5.-Know where you want to be/go/get to or accomplish. Make a realistic plan on how to achieve your goal or goals.

6.-Follow the plan, think of your goal, planning, wanting, and praying for it aren’t enough you have to keep on keeping on!

Happy journey ladies!

May Allah make positive changes in our life easy and may He make Islamic knowledge easy to learn Ameen.

Being Supportive

Sometimes we confuse being supportive for agreeing with and helping others through decisions WE like or think they should take or avoid. They don’t always listen, sometimes what we think is best isn’t actually best for THEm and sometimes it is and they just don’t take heed.

We have to be VERY careful in confusing being supportive for “forcing” ourselves on others as there usually isn’t a one-size-fits-all choice in life. Also being supportive, and loving of a person doesn’t always means supporting bad choices or endorsing them. It can be a simple smile, and a big DUA (prayer) for them. It means that even if they makes choices for their life you wouldn’t, can’t, or don’t like you still are kind, helpful, polite, and prayerful for them.

In the end they may have made a GREAT choice for their life and Allah knows best. What I’m trying to say is just because someone disagrees, or is in a bad place, or made a different choice then we would have or what we like doesn’t mean it is always wrong, just different. We can’t bully people around for their decisions but we can help them in goodness, kindness, duas, patience and being there for them.

Being supportive means being there for them–not being a nag at them. Some choices in life are horrible for us, but Great for another, our EXPERIENCE with certain choices or individuals doesn’t mean that is someone else’s experience with it. Anyhow just a little bit of reflections, self needed reminders, advice and tips also known as growing pains

My article

My article “In these Empty Arms” featured in this month’s Mariam Poppins magazine is also posted on her site.

” She sipped on her coffee, the sad-flat look in her eyes that now replaced the sparkle she once had–gone. Looking at me, she calmly and quietly asked “but when does it get easier?”

*sigh*

Shall I tell her you learn to laugh through the knot in your throat? Shall I tell her you learn to live again with this new you? Shall I tell her she’ll never again walk past certain aisles in stores and be the same? No, it sounds cynical, too hard to bear all that at once. I mean I remember the first year. *sigh* There is some benefit in this, I mean a lot of benefit really, but it still hurts. It can bring us closer to Allah. The All Merciful.

I put my food down and swallowed what I had, and gave her-what I’m sure, was a weak smile. We were in a public restaurant and a couple of muslimahs crying was all I needed to fuel more rumors of how miserable…… (Continue to Mariam Poppins) 

In these empty arms

Excited because the article I wrote “In these empty arms”

Was published in the Mariam Poppins magazine for this month AND it will be posted on their site later on as well.

For those of you who aren’t Muslim on my list @Mariam Poppins is a magazine for Muslim women (others can read it as well) that tries to address a multitude of women’s concerns, issues, life, solutions, and interests.

In the article the issue of coping, grieving, parenting, and gratitude are discussed between Muslim women in a restaurant, and not for the first time this happened either.

The article addresses grieving, sisterhood, Islamic reminders, and principles

And a raw, eye-opening look into the life of grieving mothers…..

Moms Make Great Teachers

You may not have a Ph.d , or have been a teacher in a school before, but you are a mom and this should give us some confidence when it comes to homeschooling.

Why?

Alhamdulilah We know our children, and homeschooling is more than just cracking open a book and timing test. It’s about caring, understanding and commitment. Just the tools many mothers have! As mothers, we have a relationship with our children that makes us care more, care about if they are truly understanding the subject, care about our children succeeding. That is a blessing when we are educating our children. Our heart is in it more, because we want the best for our children. Sadly sometimes our children are in school, and they may be neglected in their learning, there’s many students to one teacher and it is not always easy to give each child a lot of attention. Whether we are homeschooling or not, part of our duty as parents is to educate our children and do it with love and care.

We understand our children, hey we are moms. We know when Dawud needs a break, or that Sakinah learns better visually. Alhamdulilah we live with our children, we study them, we know them pretty well mashaAllah and this gives us a great advantage in our homeschooling. I understood that my children worked better when the subjects appealed to their interest. I learned that one child needed more time to understand his lessons and he needed to learn differently than his brothers. The mommy in me, wanted him to get the lesson, and the teacher in me was ready to figure out the best ways for him to understand it. Not everyone is willing to go the distance for our children and we will alhamdulilah.

Moms make great teachers mashaAllah. We are committed. This is not a school semester we are talking about. Moving them on to the next grade and wait for the new kids to come in. This is a life commitment alhamdulilah. It is part of our duty to educate our children. It seems like hard work, and some days it feels tiring, but the rewards are worth it. The results are a blessing. It makes it all worth the wile alhamdulilah. With our children our commitment is much stronger, we are more determined to raise children who love Allah, who are good Muslims, with a good head on their shoulders alhamdulilah. I pray Allah guides and helps us in this mission ameen, because it is through His guidance it is possible. We know that with the permission of Allah we are capable of helping our children grow into intelligent, kind, human beings. It starts at home.

Some of you may say “I can’t be with my child all day long.” “I don’t have enough patience to homeschool my child.” subhanAllah, I say try a co-op homeschooling, team homeschooling may be good for you. Please do not rule out homeschooling completely. There are many ways to homeschool, alhamdulilah. We are not bound to the same rules as schools outside of homeschooling, we do not have to homeschool the same hours every day, we can take learning outside the doors of our home and really embrace the joy of homeschooling, it’s very rewarding to be a part of your child’s learning and it’s a joy inside to have first hand in that. MashaAllah mothers… may Allah bless us all ameen!

- Ameera Rahim is the mom of 5 blessings. When she is not homeschooling she can be found homemaking and baking bread. She is an avid blogger and loves to spend time with her family.